


Midnight Meanderings

by day_dream_girl



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Adult Content, Angst, F/M, Season/Series 06, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-03
Updated: 2012-10-03
Packaged: 2017-11-15 13:31:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/527840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/day_dream_girl/pseuds/day_dream_girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Anya's latest lover disappears in the night she begins thinking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Midnight Meanderings

I woke in the middle of the night and he was already up shrugging into his leather coat. He caught me watching him, half smiled nervously saluting me, and with a final “See ya pet,” was out the door.

He always does that.

But it’s okay because he doesn’t like waiting around and I wouldn’t want him to stay anyway.

This is just the way it is with us.

He comes, we have sex and then he leaves.

Well sometimes he stays and we watch “Passions” together, but that’s about the height of it.

And we know everyone would disapprove, they did when they found us in the magic shop, but we don’t care.

Why should we?

It’s not as if they care about us.

Buffy was just using him for sex and Xander…well we won’t talk about him.

I don’t love him and he doesn’t love me. We both know that.

But he’s the only one who can understand me and I think I might be the only one who understands him.

We’re both dark demons, we’ve both done things these humans can’t even imagine.

I’m not saying I’m proud of what I’ve done and I don’t think he is either.

We’ve both been stupid enough to fall for one of these…creatures.

I don’t know why I did, it was such a stupid thing to do, I must have been under a spell or something, after all I am Anyanka, and I don’t fall for mortal men!

At least not without becoming mortal again. Which by the way was most inconvenient.

Unlike me however, Spike still thinks he’s a chance with Buffy and he’s determined to get her back by whatever means necessary. He told me that once and I’m still not sure what ‘whatever means necessary’ means but my guess is it can’t be good. I don’t think I’ve ever met anybody as determined as Spike.

Once he sets his mind on something he goes right for it and damn the consequences!

He’s quite exciting really!

Plus the sex is great.

He’s hard and fast and right here and now. Every time is passionate and fiery with clothes torn and thrown anywhere and everywhere.

Nothing like Xander.

It’s just a short time for us to forget the hurt and ever expanding gaping hole in our chests. A time to forget Xander and all his promises of a happy life together and creating life. A chance to forget how he broke my fragile heart in pieces, ripped it out of my chest and threw it on the floor at his feet stamping and jumping on it until it was nothing but dust on the ground!

Although Spike did call me Buffy once.

He wasn’t very happy about that.

I didn’t mind though. He was using me to forget Buffy just as I was using him to forget Xander.

It’s a fair deal, a fair trade, plus the sex really is great.

He’s got one amazing body. I mean wow! I often wonder if Buffy really knows what she’s given up!

That lovely mouth and that cute little scar above his left eyebrow that’s just dying for you to trace it with your tongue…

I wonder how he plans on getting her back. I somehow doubt she’ll be very receptive to his advances if and when she finds out he’s been sleeping with one of her best friends ex’s. These things always seem to have a habit of getting out.

And if she doesn’t take him back that’s fine with me. It means I can go on having great sex with a gorgeous guy.

But we’re not in love or anything.

Really.

Even if there is a somewhat exorbitant amount of blood sitting in my fridge, and there’s a pretty purple toothbrush in his bathroom.

The bad thing is with all the frantic clothes tearing I have to go and buy new clothes, which means spending money. It’s not as if I’m an Ebenezer Scrooge or anything, I won’t be visited by three spirits in the middle of the night, but…it’s money! And worse, it’s _my_ money!

As well as that there’s the whole guilt thing I have to deal with as well. And let me tell you something, guilt is not a nice thing. It’s all bad and on your mind most of the time. I kinda got used to it after we brought Buffy back from heaven.

Okay so it was selfish and all to bring her back but how could we know she was in heaven?

Yes, I did know there were more heavens then hells but Xander was upset about the whole thing and not so big into the having sex thing, and a girl has needs!

Willow was determined to do it anyway so I was just encouraging and supporting her.

Isn’t that what friends do, try to make each other feel better and support each other when they make a decision? I thought I was doing a good thing, and when Buffy came back, she never seemed any….okay so she was different but I just put that down to the shock of finally being back home instead of in hell.

I know it was wrong.

We all did.

That’s why we waited until Giles had left for England.

Not that I wanted him to go.

Bad stuff always seems ten times worse when Giles isn’t there to organise and be our Scooby Leader.

We all knew he wouldn’t have agreed to it and I know I wouldn’t have agreed had he been here.

When he came back he told me we shouldn’t have done it. You think he’d be happy but no, he was angry and shouting and rubbing the bridge of his nose, as he has a habit of doing when he’s particularly upset, and he only made me feel bad.

He told me I should have known better.

Me.

Anya Jenkins.

He told me he expected more from me, said he thought he could trust me to talk Willow out of anything as ridiculous as that because I was demon, and I’d lived longer and he honestly thought I knew better.

At that point I was torn between being thrilled at his confidence in me, guilt ridden at having pretty much destroyed that confidence, and angry because we’d brought his Buffy back to him. She wasn’t dead anymore, she was alive, and that’s what mattered. She was alive and well.

Of course that was before Xander went and summoned that silly singing demon. I think it was more painful hearing her sing the pain and torture she felt, the pain and torture we gave her.

That’s when the guilt thing really came into play, and Xander was devastated and then Giles went and left for England again. His timing as perfect as ever and then Xander went and left me at the altar, well the doors but it’s the same thing.

Then I went and slept with Spike and then stopped. But then we started again because really we didn’t have anyone. We’re both the outsiders in their little group. Not quite human enough for them. They never did view me as a human, not really. I was always that vengeance demon who was trying to be a human. It was always trying, never quite was. And he’s the vampire in love with a slayer. And a vampire is never good, unless of course you have a soul and your name in Angel. In that case you’re great, even after you lose your soul, and try to kill everyone, deep down you’re still good and everyone will still love you.

It’s not fair on Spike really. I mean here he is without a soul and he loves Buffy and tries to be good and do nice things for her. Angelus got a soul because it was forced on him and I can’t see him trying to be not evil in his normal state.

And what’s so great about Buffy anyway that every man seems to be in love with her or fantasise about her? They hover around her like…like flies around garbage! Well, not the best of metaphors but you get the point!

Angel, Riley, Xander, Spike…they all love her. They’d all give their lives for her. She’s their perfect woman, their dream woman. Like she’s an obsession or something.

Spike’s certainly obsessed with her.

Always planning on getting her back. He doesn’t tell me about his plans but I can see his mind working overtime trying to figure out something. This new plan must be something because he’s been more focused then usual. He seems more distracted which isn’t exactly to my advantage. He doesn’t stay as often as he used to.

Not that he stayed that long usually, just long enough for a rematch in the shower or, as I said before, if Passions is on.

Not that I’m upset or anything. It’s just that if it works and he gets Buffy back, who am I going to get orgasms from? Short of Giles coming back from England there’s no other man around that’s even remotely worth it!

Hmmm Giles…

Now there’s an idea.

I wonder if he has any hidden scars that have the possibility of tongue tracing.

~Finis~


End file.
